long live the king

“I asked her what she wanna be when she 25. She turned around, looked at me, and she said “alive”’.

The leading cause of death for Black males between 15-24 is homicide. Black males are also 2x more likely to be killed by police than white males. There is 6% of Black males compared to 31% of white males in amerikkka.

John Crawford was killed at 25. Ezell Ford was killed at 25. Sean Bell was killed at 23. Amadou Diallo was killed at 23. Kalief Browder was killed at 22. Oscar Grant was killed at 22. Freddie Gray was killed at 19. Kalief Michael Brown was killed at 18. Ramarley Graham was killed at 18. Trayvon Martin was killed at 17. Tamir Rice was killed at 12. Tupac was killed at 25. Biggie was killed at 24. Fred Hampton was killed at 19.

My birthday is January 30th. I will be, Lord willin, 25. That year people go all out for. It holds more significance for me for obvious different reasons. Our life here is limited. We don’t decide when we die. We do decide our legacy. Some of those kids didn’t see their high school graduation. Some didn’t see their first pay check. Oscar Grant didn’t see his daughters 5th birthday party. Fred Hampton’s was killed in his sleep with his 8th month pregnant fiance slept next to him. Sean Bell was killed the day before his wedding. Tupac didn’t make it from Vegas… Hitting 25 is a goal for Black males (This is not to take anything away from Black women who have been killed by senseless violence). These men will not be forgotten. Oscar Grant is here. Trayvon Martin is still alive. Tamir Rice is present. Michael Brown won’t go away. Pac and Fred Hampton are legend. Some of these men knew their time was counting down. Some couldn’t fathom their end being near. It is my job to prepare Jaden for the cold world ahead of him. To be sane and mentally healthy as a Black man in amerikkka is a full time job. We often think “am I gonna die today or just get a ticket?”
With that being said… here’s my eulogy, to myself.

To Julius Spencer Washington Jr.

You were a spark to all of our lives. You inspired us to fight. Never get tired of doing the right thing. You stood up and you didn’t hold your tongue. You understood the trouble that could have gotten you in. You were up to the challenge. And we love you for it. I know your mom hated it at times because she saw the harm it could do. You always tried to do the right thing in a world full of deceit. You were a man of God. You followed his lead and stuck to his plan. Julius knew what he was up against, yet he continued. Julius was not big on the dictionary definition of the word “family”. He was big on loyalty. That’s what family was about for him. Julius was humble. Julius was confident. That turned a lot of people off. He didn’t care. He knew his skills and acknowledged them. He acted on them and tried to perfect them. He always asked for ways to get better. That was the scary thing about Julius. He was only 24. Julius accepted everyone. If he couldn’t, He would try to understand everyone’s choices. He didn’t hold any grudges. You got upset at him, drunk or sober, He would calmly talk to you and get over it. He spent tons of time with his nephew. He cared for him like he was his own son. Julius danced to the beat of his own drum and didn’t care if you joined. His confidence in himself was unparalleled. He would challenge everyone to better themselves. He would sometimes do it without saying a word. Julius cared and loved Black culture. He realized his purpose in life young and did what he could do to lift and push forward the Black community. He would try to reach out to everyone get he never neglected other races. Never made anyone uncomfortable in their own skin. His favorite artist was Jay Z and Hov once said “I’ll show you how to move in a room full of vultures” and that’s what Julius did. Julius, you will be missed. You died early but you will not be forgotten. See you on the other side.

Hey y’all. If you’re reading this, I could very well be dead. I’m alive now. I mean, on writing this. But I don’t know when I’m going to die is my point. Most people don’t speak at their funerals because dead people can’t speak. That’ll be scary. So I’m getting a head start. Here’s a toast.

So…

Let me start by thanking God first and foremost. Yes, thank God. He always provided me with everything I needed and wanted. He been there with me from the gate. Always spoke the truth and told me to straighten up. God, you showed out. You never left me. Don’t be upset now y’all. God set us up to meet each other. We all have born dates and expiration dates. It’s just the way it is. God knew what he was doing then and has a plan now. Trust the process y’all. Don’t be sad. Carry on. Your life will continue without me as it did with me.

When it comes to how I expect y’all to be if I was killed by a cop… wild out. Y’all gotta do what y’all gotta do. If you gotta stop traffic, stop traffic. If you gotta run up to state offices and city hall and revolt, do it. Revolt. I love it. Some people be like “Julius would not like it if…” NAW. NOT TRUE. JULIUS WOULD WANT EXACTLY THAT.

If it was a car accident, natural causes, cancer, whatever.

Let me say wudup to my parents. Moms, born in Compton, did all you could to protect her only son. With your brothers gang banging, you were extra careful with me. And I love you for it. Sometimes I thought you were doing the most. You loved me and I see that. A mother shouldn’t have to tell her son to be safe going to get gas or make it home back to me when I’m just going to work. But you had to. You didn’t want your only son to be a number. You made sacrifices that I don’t even know you made. Things you did to make sure me and Britt lived a dope life. You loved us. Thank you. Pops. My main dawg. You were my coach. You helped me get thru many obstacles in life. Times I was called nigger. Times I was fed up with church. Times I got pulled over. You didn’t meet your dad, your sperm donor. And you made sure you didn’t turn out like that bum. You were my best friend My counselor. Thank you for making me a man. You did a great job I must say. And others concur. Can I get an “amen”. To Sabrina. You loved me from the gate. I didn’t like you. I was like naw. God said “bruh. Listen to me. She loves your father. Period. Chill out.” Thank you for your sincere heart. Traci. Thanks for being a sister. For stretching your arm out and picking me up. Britt. My road dawg. You assumed a motherly position at a young age. Something you didn’t ask for. You used to beat me up. We used to wear the same shoe size when were younger. You remember that? I had the Raptors and you had them the next day. You were tough in ya boy. But I never doubted your love. And if I’m dead or if I’m alive, love you. Don’t go naming your son after me now. I mean you can but you don’t have to Lol Yoel thanks for holding my sister down. And being a real man. Respect you.

Tasha. When I didn’t have a car getting on bus going to the movies. I worked at a library. I WAS A LIBRARIAN. People were coming up to me talking about “where is the sci-fi section?” Thank you. Frobe. You showed me what a large family unit was. You brought me around your traditional Vietnamese family and didn’t care how Black I was. I would wear a scarf, slippers, hoodie with BlackLivesMatter on it and everything. You a real brother. Hiep. Thien. Henok. My dawg. Helped me grow. Black Excellence. Jerrod. Unc. Matt. Todd. Joe. Zo. Mike. Cody. Alf. Tarun. We go back like fo’ flats on a Cadillac. Or is that a Cadillac on fo’ flats? Whatever. Johanna. Wudup girl. Jizel. Lil Jah. Ana. Julie. Camille. Sarah. Or WanderBabybes. Sheeesh. Shanice and Jaden. Both showed me a new life. Jaden helped me grow up. Helped me become a man. Something he won’t even be aware of. Jaden is my little nephew.

Keep it moving. Keep on pushing like Curtis Mayfield. Oh Des. Wudup. Des is a survivor. Blessed. You were always positive. Always wanted to pray outloud. Never got over that. But you always let God lead you. I admired that. You’ve gotten into two car accidents. Bad ones. And you’re not broken. Jay Z. that’s my dude. He was a big inspiration and mentor. I don’t have to agree with everything one does to admire them. There gotta be some Hov at my funeral y’all. Some Temptations. Kanye. Whitney. Prince. Ice Cube. I want my hands behind my head like I’m chilling. Never really liked gospel music so let’s pass on that. And use some good pictures for my funeral man. Here. I’ll post some. I like these. Don’t be posting some ugly candid pictures.

MLK. X. Ali. Hampton. Huey. Umar. Assata. Afeni. Angela. Michelle Alexander. Stokley. Thank y’all. Colin. All y’all helped me become a strong man.

Today is Dr.King’s birthday. January 15th. I love and respect that man. He was one of the strongest persons to have walked this earth. In honor of him, read AND listen to his I’ve Been To The Mountaintop speech and be moved. He didn’t know he was going to be assassinated the next day but he knew he wouldn’t live to see many more days. And he let it be known.

And so I’m happy tonight.

I’m not worried about anything.

I’m not fearing any man.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, I’m free at last. Remember, most kings get their heads cut off.

Holla Back.

*Listen to I’ve Been To The Mountaintop by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.