TALK. SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.

can i tell you one of the most rewarding acts i have ever done???

talked.

elation. joyous. fulfilling.

speaking for yourself is powerful. i’m sure some would recall when having an idea or perspective wanting to be heard but someone speaking over you or even saying “what she/he MEANT to say was…” as if you didn’t just say what you wanted to say. or being upset and someone just talking and you finally get to say what’s been on your chest. it’s relief. you feel good when you talk.

talk to your parents. talk to your partner. talk to your kids. talk to your doctor. talk to your diary. talk to your friends. talk to your sister. talk about sex. talk about forgiveness. talk about God. talk about Buddha. talk about it all and be ready to learn something.

i encourage every one reading this to TALK. and more than anything, talk your truth.

let’s go.

nothing is more powerful than the truth. nothing. nothing in this world is more complicated but powerful than truth. but you have to TALK in order for others to know your truth. so you have to say it. you literally have to say what is on your mind.

what dictates ones truth? you may ask. you prove your truth by living and dying by it. no matter the outcome, you stick by it. why? because it’s true. you do not waiver the truth. you live your truth. you better. some people don’t. some talk the talk and have rules for others to live by but not themselves. won’t say names but when you see some preachers or police officers or people who have influence.

that’s not truth. that’s… hypocrisy.

examples examples.

me saying God is real and is Love is my truth. i live by that. but if someone had a gun to my head, i would die by that. that’s my truth.

i believe Black women are the most amazing beings on earth. i believe Black women are the closest things to God. Black women are more valuable than any eight things you can think of, combined. i live by that. if my life came to be even attempting to prove otherwise, ima dead man. that is my truth.

i stand on that.

some might and already have expressed “come on now. that’s not worth dying for.”

and my response is “okay. what is worth dying for?”

WHAT’S THE COST?

people think if you do something “bad” that automatically results in a huge price you must pay.

no. whatever you do, “good” or “bad” has a price tag on it. period.

you pay a price to every single thing you do or say. what that price is might be undetermined at the time. price might be low or high, but that’s relative. some people believe NOT speaking despite racist or sexist behavior and remarks in their presence is okay. some believe that if their managers talk about them… oh i mean not them directly but “those people” is not worth a price to speak up. i’m not one of “some.”

the thing you probably already know is speaking up is dangerous. it is one of the most if not THE most dangerous thing to do. which is why it’s the most rewarding in my opinion. Jesus was killed for talking. Malcolm X was killed for talking. Angela Davis was on the run for talking. Sandra Bland was jailed then hanged for talking. that’s why in class most students don’t raise their hand. it’s dangerous. laughed at. hated. scrutinized.

but also, you can be loved, admired and revered. a ha! because all of those people i named were also loved and had/have a huge following.

again. e v e r y t h i n g you do has a price. what that price is is yet to be made but you cannot waiver. because guess what. there’s a price for NOT speaking. theres a cost for just following and never being an individual.

okay. simple picture. you wanna go on vacation. you want the days off. but you’re intimidated by the person in charge of the schedule or whatever. what do you do?? my point. you don’t talk, there is a price. you do talk, there is a price. mark of freedom is talking. be free.

You’re not alone.

don’t think you’re alone. don’t think it’s you against the world. it might feel like it more times than not. it’s just you’re the only one saying it where you are at that time. not just thinking it. a whole lot of people THINK it but just either cannot say it or won’t.

some are afraid. some are so anxious. some just can’t articulate it. that’s fine. but if you can, if you have the ability and privilege to talk, talk. it is the most precious gift.

i’m going to tell you about a couple of things that happened to myself.

people have walked out of my life because i talked. i have failed classes because i talked. i have made preachers pissed because i talked. i have made mothers upset because i talked. to some, i talked recklessly. to some, i talked out of turn. to some, i just didn’t have to talk. to all, they were right. that was their truth and not one apologized. and that is fine. i’m still here and they’re somewhere.

in a philosophy class years ago, i was heading into the eighth inning with a nice lead. B+. only had two more innings to endure. my last project was to thoroughly state a theory. opinion based with some facts. very loose rubric. guess what the title of my twelve page paper was… Why Socrates Was Wrong. i knew that was going to be dope. <— keep that in mind.

i wrote opinions based on the facts that was given. i gave single blind tests to others in the class and friends and family. i gave the finished product to other teachers to see how they liked or disliked it. i failed that paper. F. received a D in the class. the professor comments? “Socrates was not wrong. you attempted to tarnish his name. although very well written and valid points and explanations with experiments, you failed to come up with a solid theory.”

hmmmm… one might say it wasnt as dope as you thought it would be… ehhh. no. it was still dope. one of the dopest peices i’ve written. i can’t base what i am off of what everyone isn’t. because someone with a certain amount of authority says no doesn’t make it law. it doesn’t make me feel inferior or inadequate. the price was a F on the paper and D in class. i’ll pay it all over again.

but see, someone else would have possibly handled that differently. student and professor. student might have went back and made a claim and urged for a do over. promise to never write a paper like that again and plea for a another chance. a professor might have said “hmmm. although Socrates is my god, he might have been wrong. this is good stuff” but no. that possibility didn’t exist. the professor’s truth was Socrates was always right. period. why write something and submit that very thing and then backtrack? if you have done thorough research and have done experiments to “prove” that theory, stand on what you said.

others all over the world think Socrates was wrong. i’m not alone. i’m just paid the price at that particular time and place that way.

you’re not alone. trust me. talk.

Control.

i will never give up the only thing i can control: myself. i control myself. not you. not my momma. i will die on two feet. not knees in the dirt.

you can’t control external systems or forces. you can’t control her lying to you. you can’t control her not being engaged. you can’t control his opinions. you can’t control them. you can control how you respond to them.

control and freedom work hand and hand.

don’t be controlled by sex. by structure. by religion. by traditions. by emotions. by men. by women. by money. by horoscopes.

“ima scorpio, can’t help it.” “ima man. you know how men are.” “well, the pastor said…” “i just couldn’t help it!! we were in the moment.” that’s lack of control, bro.

i wrote a while ago people think having sex with fiddyleven people is power in itself. okay. cool.

i don’t. simply having sex is not power. especially as a woman. women have every avenue to have sex. people, men and women, approach women multiple times, daily. that’s not power. that’s inevitable. Rihanna and the most unattractive women walking this earth has men coming up to them. but say if you have a boat load of men coming up to you in Miami or Atlanta, cool right? feel good. now if you move to Wisconsin or Utah, would you still? is a boat load coming up to you then? what if you’re not “their cup of tea”? your “power” was taken away from you in a different state? so how powerful are you then if you didn’t have control over that? don’t pat yourself on the back for something you had no control over. you didn’t choose your looks. your parents had a role in that. not you.

power comes with the option but not acting or being a slave to your emotions. so many people don’t even have their hormones in control but say they got power. i once met a woman in Los Angeles who wanted to get down. she was reeeeaaaddyyy.

she was nice. very *educated, use that word purposefully, lovely, a sista. but i did not want to have sex. she did. the power wasn’t me being a dope conversationalist and wearing fly clothes and having a haircut. the power was ME, my heart AND mind controlling the night. TALKING. not just my emotions. i could have had sex. not a bad thing. the bad thing is not being in control of my emotions and hormones. i run me and my mind. not my emotions. not my dick. not my society.

Martin Luther King Jr doesn’t get the respect he deserves. believe it or not. people play him for a sucka. a pacifist. he had power because he had control of himself. he had control of his emotions. if someone talks badly or even touch you and you knocked them out and stomp them out, one might say, “cmon. was that necessary? don’t ever let anyone control you like that. don’t let anyone get under your skin to a point you knock em out.” power comes with restraint.

you can’t say “i practice non violence” but aren’t a threat physically. if someone said “i practice non violence. i am in control” but not a single soul fears them in a violent manner or they aren’t even equipped to be violent, it’s pointless. if i say “i can have sex. i got the power. but just don’t want to” but can never have sex if i wanted to, that ain’t power. that’s the opposite. that’s being at the mercy of others or something else.

i’m preaching right now. can the church say “amen.”

Malcolm X said a man who will not stand for something will fall for anything. and i ain’t falling for nothing. you can’t play me. my level of control and confidence is something you can’t compete with. and this is not coming from an arrogant place. this all started with me TALKING. that started with me saying “no.” my parents supported and encouraged freedom. they encouraged independence and individuality. i have been told i had no structure growing up. this is from people who have been in my life less than three percent. what i DID have was freedom of thought. back to students raising their hands in class. free students raise their hands. students who are not afraid or are ready to be corrected. when you talk, be ready to be corrected. be ready to be wrong. be ready to be laughed at. be ready to be scrutinized. i never once said freedom/talking would come without reactions.

consequences are not coincidences.

you play in dirt, be ready to get dirty.

consequences are not coincidences.

again, i know external factors play a part. i don’t have all the power. but that doesn’t mean i’m powerless.

Remember these last words.

have faith.

have faith in you. have faith in a higher power. you can get it done. you can TALK. TALKING is power. say “no.” stop using defeating words. take accountability and SPEAK UP.

there is a price you will pay for talking. there is a price you will pay for not talking.

take it from me, there’s satisfaction in being in the place i am in because i did talk rather than being in a similar place but didn’t talk. me exerting no power by not talking would eventually had made me miserable.

i know what it means to feel invisible. i do.

don’t just exist.

what price are you willing to pay?

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