Just My Imagination… Once again.

It’s a beautiful thing to go to work with my hair free without co-workers and members and customers not commenting on it. It feels good to grow out my natural hair and having people other than my family compliment it. Considering hair is natural, it would suck if someone labeled my hair unprofessional or nappy. No white man in a wheelchair has ever asked “is that where you stash your drugs?” No one has EVER said that to me before..
It’s such a great joy to walk around Macy’s and Nordstrom with money on your card, just ready to spend, and not be spied on from a distance from security cameras. I don’t know about you, but ya boy loves it.
I’m glad I can attribute to someone else’s wealth and drop hundreds in beauty supply stores owned by Asians. It doesn’t even matter who owns it actually because I feel at home when I walk into one. No one follows me down every aisle. And when I walk into one with someone who has white skin color, the store owner always asks them do they need help as well.
When I go into banks, I’m glad no one automatically believes I have bad credit. It feels good when bankers spark good dialogue with me and don’t assume I’m going to get my application declined. And when I leave, they don’t whisper about me. That’s wsup.

I heard some people actually walk on the other side of the street when they see Black men?? Is that true? I’m glad I have never experienced that. That would hurt!! That would kill my psyche. I’m glad no woman ever has clutched her clutch when seeing me walking in the direction towards her. I’m glad a cute little white or Asian couple hasn’t literally stopped walking to let me pass them by as if I was driving 80 miles per hour in the 50 lane.

It’s a relief when I talk to white people about food, they don’t ask me “do you know how to make grits? What about cornbread?” I really enjoy cooking and both of my parents are natural chefs, so it would be a disgrace if someone patronized and limited me to only being able to cook “comfort food”.

Have you ever been walking in Downtown Oakland with your Vietnamese friend and a random guy asks you “do you play basketball?” No? Well me either!! Lucky us. Horrible huh. Who would ever do that? Maybe a kid but not a person over the age of… 27, right?

But wanna know what else would be just wrong? Silly thought, but what if Latinxs and Asian people only thought of you as a sperm donor to make “cute mixed babies”? Wouldn’t that be something. I mean, it ain’t gonna ever happen, but what if someone actually told you “I have a fetish for Black men/women”. CRAZY huh? Most people think of a bizarre fantasies such as “i love a man in uniform” or “dawg, I just gotta thing for big asses,” but no one would actually objectify a Black body and Black genes just to have “cute mixed babies” with “good hair.” That’d be insane!! Lemme stop. That’s so far fetched.

Feels refreshing being loved by everyone and not just because of my big lips, kinky hair, light skin, dark skin, deep voice, jumping ability, rapping skills or banging body. I’m glad there’s not a preconceived notion that all Black men are born with a big d*ck which influences women automatically and subconsciously to sexualize us from birth. THAT would be a lot of pressure. I’m glad when I speak my mind, people automatically don’t call me difficult or ratchet or possess an attitude. Being a Black woman is easy. No one is inspired and motivated by me but they give me credit for everything!!! Nobody exploits me or my culture. That happens to every race, but not mine. Ain’t that something. Black and Brown women bodies mature earlier than most so good thing people respect and don’t sexualize me even when I’m only 15 years old. 1 in 4 Black girls will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18, good thing I don’t have to worry about that.

You know what a good sight to see is? Teachers and professionals who look like me. So grateful to have tons of Black teachers growing up in elementary, middle, and high school. I thought I was in the Motherland seeing all of these Black teachers. It was weird to have my first white teacher eight grades in. Who would think it woulda been a math class. I learned so much about my history!! It amazed me. Fortunately, Timbuktu, slavery, being 3/5ths of a human, MLK and Rosa Parks wasn’t all that I was taught. Oh, and now Barack Obama. It was good seeing 44 Black presidents in my history book. I would have been satisfied with just 1 maybe 6. But all 44 presidents were Black? It’s good knowing that 12 presidents didn’t own slaves too. Close one. And when I hear The Pledge Allegiance and it says “and liberty and justice for all,” i was included. Little ol me. I mean because my ancestors were fasho considered humans and not property.

I love politics. No one else does. Well I’m just glad I, as a Black man, don’t have to know what’s going on every day. I don’t have to be the most socially aware person in my group of friends all the time. They don’t ask me “what do you think of…” every time a new issue is on Twitter. That’d be draining. Y’all probably do, but I’m glad I don’t have to ever deal with racist girlfriend parents or family members. I be walking into their family’s house and be like “THIS FINNA BE A BREEZE” and everyone is smiling and got positive nicknames for me. No one tells your significant other “don’t date him” just because of your skin color, do they? That’s just wrong. Hope you don’t have to deal with that, because I don’t. So fortunate I never had to deal with racist moms and aunts and granddads in laws.

Rap music is one of the biggest influences on people. But booooooooyy am I blessed I don’t have friends who say “N*gga” loosely. Just imagine. That is the most disruptive word in English lexicon. That word derived from people who felt [feel] they were [are] literally genetically superior than my people. It would be a shame if Asians and Latinxs and Indians say it more than me. And I say it AAAAAAAALL the time too. Every other word that comes out of my mouth is N*gga so I see why people would be so comfortable saying it around me, but no one ever does. Weird. Thanks y’all. Y’all the real MVPs.

I love police. I’m just cheesing right now thinking about it. Hey, blue lives matter to me. So glad I don’t have to say BlackLivesMatter. Ridiculous. Of course they do. So when I see a BlackLivesMatter hoodie, I say “all lives matter brother!!!” as soon as I see someone leaving the airport. Racism ended when Barack Obama was elected. Your mom and cousin voted for him, they fasho ain’t racist. It would be a scary feeling if I got pulled over and sincerely felt I wouldn’t make it home over DWB. Who would want to live like that EVERY day? What if I got pulled over 13 times and once while walking, yet never got a ticket? I would be pissed. Glad that has never happened to me and never will. Have you ever been at a red light with a cop on your left hand side and their light turns green, but they don’t go? Yours turn green and you drive and they get behind you for 5 miles? Has that ever happened? No? Oh. It never happened to me, but I thought I’d ask. But you’re right, things like that never happen. Stuff like that will make me hate and be scared of cops. But I love and respect this system cops are under. I mean, they just wanna make sure people are safe. They get paid by us to protect and serve us and I am glad they are in it for the right reasons. It’s not like 1 in 3 Black men will see prison in their lifetime. Numbers like that scare me but I don’t have to worry about that because it’s not true. Man its a travesty if the greatest country on Earth only convicted 13 cops in the past 12 years of murder or manslaughter. Numbers like that reeeeaally piss me off, but again, don’t have to worry about that. I have a nephew. He’s 7. When we talk, we only talk about the newest dance moves, shoes, grades and the Avengers. So glad I don’t have to discuss what to do when talking to a cop. So glad we don’t have to talk about not saluting the flag because it wasn’t representing him or how the Constitution was in written with him not in consideration. Most parents only have to have “The Talk” when it comes to sex. So glad me and my nephew don’t have to have “home school” about what being Black in the world that loves when our blood is spilled but hates when we complain about it.

All of that would drive me completely INSANE. Literally. If just 2 of those things happened, I would be mentally and emotionally fatigue. I’d be bouncing off walls, crying every night. Really be smoking and really be drinking like a YG song. I would be rioting!! I’d be all over social media tryna get others to just listen and understand. I’d be protesting and kneeling. Hell, that stuff would turn me into a monster. I’d be like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. HEEEERE’S JOHNNY. I’d contemplate suicide. I’d go MIA from the homies for months at a time. Man I’d shave my head and try to “start new.” I’d hate this country. I’d envy other races and dispise mine. I wouldn’t give God any more time. Lose my faith in Him. But none of that happens, so I don’t have to worry……………

Scene 2

me: “MAN WHAT HAPPENED??!!”

the homie: “I don’t know man. We were watching Get Out and you went to sleep. I took a picture of you with my flash on for Snapchat because apparently that’s what friends do, and you good now so STAY WOKE….. Yo, what’s that line on your forehead?”

me: “Huh??????????? Oh that’s from my durag. Gotta get them waves G. Now turn that old school Temptations back up.” *Balls Of Confusion playing in background.

Fin.