first, we define.
Misogynoir is a portmanteau of “misogyny” and the French word for black, “noir.” Moya Bailey dubbed the word in 2010 to describe the particular racialized sexism that Black women face.
it’s a word used to acknowledge the combination of racism and sexism that is specific to Black women. it is not a people of color let’s all say we are being affected by this as well term.
next, we engage.
for the bulk of a Black girl’s life, she has been told she looks mad, so smile. too pretty not to be smiling. that outfit looks “too grown.” those pants/leggings aren’t appropriate. your hair is… whoo. tame your hair, you ain’t going outside looking like that. you’re not that fun. too loud. sassy. ratchet. why are you so aggressive? (not a leader, a boss) too confident. don’t be a bitch. don’t wear that to school/ work, you’ll distract people. if you didn’t wear that… you’re light skin, you don’t know about the Black struggle. i know you twerk. i only like light skin Black girls. you’re pretty for a Black girl. i don’t usually date Black women. i’ve always wanted to try a Black girl. are you mixed? can i touch your hair? chill out, it’s not that serious. see, all yall have attitudes. Black women don’t ride for us. you’re different. not like the other ones. any non Black woman using Black woman dialect. yaaaaaas bitch!! slaaayy. now if it was an all white woman group, it’ll be a problem. you don’t sound Black.
those leggings and pants are the same ones that Sally wears. Sally just doesn’t have the body to make anyone in class or work curious enough to look. that hair is naturally growing just like Guadalupe’s hair. Guadalupe’s hair just grows down her back instead of up. all of your Latina girlfriends have sass. you love the snap and feistiness in their character’s, but that’s the reason why Black women aren’t your type? when a white man speaks up, he just speaks up. when a white women speaks, she’s assertive and leads. when a Black woman does it, she’s aggressive because you don’t think a Black woman has a place to speak up and say what’s on her mind. you’ve dated white Latinas, blondes and brunettes, short and tall Asians, thick and slim, loud and quiet… but “light skin Black women are just my preference.” you never asked any other woman if she’s MIXED. her ethnicity, maybe. mixed? never. that’s reserved for light skin Black women. you don’t go around touching women with big breasts. you don’t feel compelled to pat an Asian woman’s head, but you just have to touch that Black woman’s hair huh? Black women don’t ride for you when you have disowned and disrespected and did your job to disassociate with them in public. but you tweet cool stuff about them, i know. you don’t say “howdy yall” to white people or “what’s up homes/ese” to Mexicans but YAAAAAAAS GIRL. SLAAAAYYY. WOOORRKKA!all day to Black women. and then after all of that, you have the nerves to say “you’d look better if you smile.” maaan please.
there are going to be people reading this just waiting to compare their hurt feelings with those ofBlack women. those out there waiting to say “but but… what about us?!” this isn’t a Struggle Olympics. i think there are sick groups of people, demographics who want all the struggle and oppression to be on them so they can always say “what about us?” “my head hurts, too.” they can always point the finger at someone else instead of actively trying to overcome oppression. there are people who go to sleep feeling good that others are fighting for them and they aren’t themselves. Black women aren’t them. so if you feel you need to compare your struggle to those of a Black woman, continue reading and shut up.
Angry Black Women.
if you had a child and he/she came in pissed off from school, thus “looking” angry, what would you do? multiple choice
- Say “you should smile.”
- Say “you’re way too *insert physical attribute that has nothing to do with mood* to not be smiling.”
- Think “what’s wrong?” and try to understand what he/she goes/went through.
- Say “see this is why nobody wants to date you.
people rarely take the time to understand Black women. we seem them as robots who just do. they just go. men disrespect them, they prevail. systems oppress them, they overcome. women mock and imitate them, they create something new.
Black women have exhausted their patience for you. you really do not know what she goes through every minute of the day. the media tells her she’s too thick to be sexy. too Black to be beautiful. hair too nappy to be professional. her boyfriend’s silences her when they go out. movies tell her she has to have five bad boyfriends before she deserves to be treated well.
stop telling Black women to smile for you. odds are if you’re demanding a Black woman to smile, you’re not worthy of one. you don’t have to tell a new born baby to smile, they smile when they’re comfortable. happy. loved on. protected.
Black women need to be loved more, protected, comfortable. they deserve a constant state of happiness. a euphoria that won’t fade.
why do we frown when Black women frown? we don’t question the conditions that were designed to make her SEEM that angry, we instead get mad and yell SMILE. but i know, “Black women are queens. we ride.”
it’s an unfair assessment for two reasons. one, Black women have the right to be angry. period. but especially when you haven’t done ANYTHING to lighten the weight she’s carrying, all you do is tweet “Black Queens” and then scrutinize them. but secondly, even if she wasn’t angry, you have been conditioned to think they’re angry anyway so whatever she does will be judged with different harsher lenses. when she is fine and full of joy, you will always be waiting for “angry” in your subconscious. and since society makes that known, she as well has to think about what you’re thinking about her.
why aren’t white women consistently considered “angry” but Black women are? what’s the difference? yeap, that should answer your question there.
they, and every other group of woman, benefit from a privilege that offers a sense of protection and love. from others and their own. white women more than others, but Black women aren’t invited to that party.
but don’t stop there. follow me.
we all laugh and make memes from these crackas, but yall love to call them, “Karens.” white women (white women biologically but also psychologically. we must understand white supremacy) who are extremely self entitled to the degree of yelling, demanding a manager, calling cops, throwing, spitting, standing in front of cars, pointing guns. they are dangerous. they are literally calling DEATH to come handle something they cannot. they call a machine who they know are not trained to deescalate situations with Black people to intervene. but see. Black women have never, can never have that sense of entitlement. they never had anything handled to them. yet, we laugh at these white women and shake our heads but a Black woman demanding to see the manager, not because she doesn’t want to wear a mask during a pandemic, but because she was disrespected and her family was denied to eat at restaurant due to her son wearing shorts while a white kid behind them wearing the same ones, is called ratchet or having an attitude. you can ignore your subtle hatred of Black women, but we gon check it. think twice about how you treat them.
see ima say something nobody wanna say.
these white women out there are the NIGGA’s everyone loves to sees us as. those white women are the ghetto ones. the sassy ones. white women have always been the ones everyone is scared to get upset. those white women are the pain in your back and causes your headaches. the KAREN’s are the RATCHET ones. but nobody calls them that because they’re too busy labeling and policing Black women. hypersensitive when a Black woman checks you on your foul behavior but when a white woman does it, it’s “….. *rapidly blinks. well okay then KAREN.” and that’s all. meanwhile, you’re going to call that Black woman demanding you respect her a b*tch and tell all the homies how Black women ain’t worthy of kindness.
whole time, you ain’t worthy of a Black woman.
Black women are considered angry by every one because everyone hates them.
Strong Black Women.
Black women are seven percent of the population in amerikkka. but this isn’t a domestic issue, it’s global.
we see them always at the neck of everyone, never stopping, grinding and organizing for everyone. for centuries, we have seen men on posters as leaders of movements but we never think about the people who organized it. by us not respecting Black women, we tend to overlook their oppression. we unconsciously, foolishly, think they got everything they need and want and THAT’S why they’re spending so much time fighting for us. so when they DO speak up about their specific oppression, we say “NOBODY SAID YALL DIDNT MATTER” or “YALL WANNA DIVIDE. BLACK FIRST.”
when watching Shaq play, he was a force to be reckoned with. nine out of ten people will say he is the most dominant player ever. why? he was really talented but also his strength (around 341 pounds after his first championship) helped him conquer almost every obstacle. at first, he was strong and big to match his body frame. he was so strong that people overlooked when he got fouled. he probably took the most beatings in the whole NBA from 1999-2005. but nobody talked about him getting hard fouled and he would rarely bring it up on his own. but when he did, they’ll just ignore him. then after the ignoring, they’ll say “you’re too strong to be complaining. deal with it.” he started getting fouled more and more so he got bigger, not muscle, but fat. he stopped complaining and just dealt with the pounding that he knew was coming. soon, he was looked at as fat. players didn’t wanna play with what was just recently the most dominant player. his work ethic dwindled because he was just tired of getting beaten.
we treat Black women like Shaq. it’s why Serena Williams almost died giving birth because the doctors didn’t listen when she said she needed more meds. we hype them up and remind them of how strong they are. but they’re strength should be used for them dealing with the normal fouls of life. not flagrant. we GIIIRRRRLLL BLACK DON’T CRACK them to death. literally. to death. we look at the physical but don’t study the mental and emotional. outside, it might look like they don’t crack, but that’s just God showing out. but inside, they are tired. they are whooped. then when they get beat up and say LISTEN TO US, or SAY HER NAME, we ignore it because… strong Black woman. but let that strong Black woman stop fighting for you. let her be silent. let her disown her own men. let her do anything opposite to what you think progression is in your struggle, and she’s weak and playing for the wrong team.
what that Strong Black Woman narrative does is actually weakens her. she has to keep up this image of strength and grit and she will probably succeed outwardly because that’s what Black women do but she’s doing it now because of the constant hype. Black women aren’t able to explore healthy work and intimate relationships due to it. they endure so much pain that we bypass. cries. pain. death. a lot of Black women have this costume they put on every day they wake up even if they’re looking in the mirror.
non Black people, just because we don’t see Black women in the media as much as Black men, it does not mean Black women are not struggling. see the media focuses on police killings which predominately touches Black men. i don’t have to emphasize the severity of Black death. but we don’t talk about all forms of oppression. we don’t talk about how a white woman (a Karen as yall love) called the police on Lolade Siyonbola because she was sleeping in the dorms common room. cops made her go to her room and show she was a student there. because people don’t think Black women should be a YALE.
we don’t talk about how Black women are followed and harassed by police. those stories are swept under the rug. like in 2018, three Black women and one white one were leaving an airbnb in Southern California when a white woman didn’t like how they didn’t “wave and smile” at her. so she called the cops. those are her words. she said they were robbing a house.
and these Black women are expected to smile after this?
Okay GUURRLLL Black Woman.
we have made Black women into caricatures. took away their humanity and put them into our movie scripts. all they are are neck rolling, finger snapping, ebonics talking, twerking things. we wait for them to ACT Black Womanly. and when they don’t match what you’re vision of a Black woman is, “oh you’re different” “something about you is different. i like it.”
and here’s the gag, they can be who they want to be. it’s a little something something called CULTURE. Black women are not like the women you’re used to being around. they’re different from the women you’ve dated. they will stand up for you and themselves in public or private. they will use a whole lot of hand gestures. but why don’t we OKAY GUUUUURRRLLL to politicians when they do?
but when Tiffany Haddish moves her hands, get out the way.
the way Black women are is how Black women are. the magic trick white supremacy performed centuries ago but reworked in the years of mass media is to make the Black woman seem crazy, irrational, too emotional and unable to handle themselves in public. it makes it easier to pass up on dope Black women in the dating scene. it makes it acceptable to not take seriously Black women in housing. it makes teachers and all of yall feel better when cops and “authority” man handle young Black girls like they’re trained football players due to them verbally checking them.
see it’s something called respectability politics that a vast majority of us vote for but don’t admit. if someone doesn’t talk how we talk, or dress how we dress, wear a color brighter than what we like, or don’t have the same schooling as we do, or have hair the way we have hair, we judge and look down upon them. we allow whatever comes their way.
if a Black woman talks with attitude and then gets thrown out the car and beat up by police, it’s “well… she shouldn’t have mouthed off” as if that’s breaking the law or hell… worthy of being treated subhuman. forget the law. we give passes to police whenever they get physical with a Black woman as long as the Black woman is… acting like a Black woman.
cops will slam teenage Black girls like it’s WWE. but… WWE is fake. how we treat Black girls is not.
or when a fifteen year old girl was at a pool party with the homies and a good ol police officer wanted to turn into Rambo.
he had his hand on his gun and had a white male adult stand over her as well as if HE had his back to detain this girl who did nothing to begin with.
but this is all acceptable when a Black women tells you NO or WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. add the fact that she has braids and dark skin, talk with a neck snap and moves her hands? she’s a walking target.
Black women are villainized for seventy percent of the acts they do. everything else, they’re fetishized over.
it’s that time. Non Black People.
focusing on laws and rules but laws cannot legalize Blackness. laws can’t make the revolution you must make inside yourself. being Black is illegal, when you’re Black. it’s cool when you’re Asian or Indian. it’ll get you in office when you’re non Black and act a lil Black. everybody wanna be a nigga but nobody wanna be a nigga. double check the media’s perception and yours on Black women and labels that have notoriously been exclusive to Black women.
Black women in amerikkka make up seven percent of the population. that’s it. make it through your week without doing something that was inspired by a Black woman. vocabulary. music. style. fashion. memes. politics. don’t even say Black Lives Matter because that organization was started by three Black women.
and men, or males because most of you ain’t men. i don’t throw that title around just because of your age. you cannot buy the dignity of a Black woman. you are being watched. you will be reimbursed for your treatment of Black women. i promise.
stop sexualizing Black women. it ain’t a compliment. you “wanting to try” a Black woman isn’t shooting your shot. stop making Black women your sexual fantasy. your epitome of sexuality. i know they are gorgeous. i know Meg and Lupita and Beyoncé are stunning. but they’re more than face and body. that’s just the frosting on the multi-layered cake. how you respect your women (if you do), respect my women. she might have bigger butt than you, might have bigger hair than you, you don’t go around touching people like they’re statues in museums. you appreciate and admire the art.
i’m patient with everyone. i have a huge heart and is known to be forgiving. one thing i will never forgive is the treatment, harassment and neglect towards Black women by the world. the world uses up and milks Black women and then leave them hanging to dry. no.
WAKE UP. BLACK PEOPLE.
every Black man i know think he is strong in every single way. ego, of course, but how is every single Black man so mighty yet Black women are on the bottom of the totem pole? yes, it’s that time. the thing about the Strong Black Woman trope is it lives due to Black culture. we say this about our women, which is true. they are unbelievably strong. but they’re not able to fight machines without support. they’re not able to endure the emotional and mental abuse we and others throw their way for too much longer. they don’t DESERVE to withstand it at all. Black culture tells them and others that Black women are the backbone of the community but what that does is numb their pain. we ignore what they go through every day.
Lebron was a beast in the 2018 playoffs, but he lost. he had eleven other players to help, but all we know is Lebron lost. that’s the reason we continue to go with that narrative of Strong Black women. why the hell do they have to be so strong? ask yourself that. if they had adequate support, we wouldn’t be here talking.
we have to take responsible for the protection of our women. we have to hold ourselves accountable for some actions or inactivity. we have to check those males who love to say Black Queens but possess hatred for them. if she isn’t light skin with decent size lips and swag, she’s deplorable? Black womanhood is mocked and set aside constantly. no more.
Black men love to quote Malcolm X. so i got one for you. The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.
let me give you scared to death “i don’t want anyone else to talk about women struggles'” negros context. Malcolm X said this while in Los Angeles in 1962 at a funeral for Ronald Stokes. Stokes, a Black man, was killed by LAPD. a lot of us who like Malcolm don’t study Malcolm. we quote him like he’s dead but fail to understand he’s very much alive. what Malcolm did NOT do was exclude Black women. he highlighted oppression where oppression was. he talked about Vietnam and Kenya because oppression was present. Malcolm X was more than a poet a lot of us think of him as when we quote him. he knew who the enemy was and he knew it wasn’t the Black woman. later in that talk (as heard in the video above), he said “we will kill you for our women.” he said until we protect and respect our women we will never be recognized as men. Black man, it is your duty to stand up for Black women. i am holding you responsible as i am responsible myself. it is your moral and social obligation to make sure your women are loved and protected. people loved to tie black and white situations with grey area and bring up family. i’m not going to bring up how your mother and grandmother and aunties are Black and got you right but we don’t have the balls to make sure Black women are right. i’m not going to say that.
what i will say is you as well will have a day in court for your misjudgment of Black women. your sistas and mothers and aunties. white supremacy did something wicked to us. I understand. the colorism and sexism that has sprouted from it is not to be ignored. i understand the affects of slavery. but we do have to take way more initiative and pride in undoing the workings. we have to look at ourselves in the mirror. we keep waiting for the government for something only we can do.
take Black women to the gun range. take them to boxing classes. get them stun guns from online. buy them flowers or art. send a Black woman a text today and another one tomorrow. check in on them. she doesn’t have to be your girlfriend, bruh.
Black women, be nicer to Black women. yall need each other. be more patient with each other. invite a Black woman to the park, start a book club, go on a mass vacation with a group of Black women. what every Black woman needs is a Black girl friend. Black women need solid Black women around them. it’s vital.
Black women, be you. and whoever doesn’t like it, dead it. be weird. be thick. be a nerd. be assertive. be submissive. be loving. be quiet. be loud. be YOU.
Black people, we are not the enemy. until you are the enemy.
again, please share this with your platform and friends and family. read older post Queen i wrote.
IF YOU WANT SOME DOPE ART, Mary.
2 thoughts on “angry black woman”
AMEN!! PREACH P.K.