what do you do when no one listens to you?
what happens when you’ve been belittled and patronized by a society and country and people respond to you “it’s not that bad. other parts of the world is worse”?
what do you do when you’ve been told your style and appearance and whole existence is ghetto and not appropriate but you turn around and see Asian dudes wearing durags and dancing like YG and Indians saying nigga right in front of you?
what do you do when the appropriate action is to normally call the police but you know they will do nothing to deescalate the situation but actually intensify it?
what do you say when you speak up and you’re seen as disruptive and difficult?
what do you do when you feel like you’re losing your focus? when your patience is running thin?
what happens when society hates you and tries to erase you from history while simultaneously doing everything they can to be you?
what happens when they don’t care when you march so you kneel and when you kneel they don’t listen so you protest and when you protest they don’t listen so you rebel and when you rebel YOU go to jail for a response for a criminal act that was done originally by someone and they didn’t get the same scrutiny or punishment as you?
what do you watch when every time you turn on the TV, every representation of you is someone who’s ratchet or loud or angry or aggressive or stupid or drunk or hateful or annoying? or all of the above?
what do you do when you wake up paranoid and can’t drive to or walk around in Target or Macy’s in peace?
what do you do when you never been to Iraq but you’ve been in war for 3 tours in your own country and have PTSD?
what do you say to your 8 year old nephew when you’re trying to teach him to be aware and unapologetic and have an undying love and respect for people who look like him and everyone calls you racist and extreme for doing so?
what do you say when everyone of your non Black friends talk to you about being Black like it’s an icebreaker?
what do you respond with when everyone of your non Black friends bring up a Black person being beat or killed and it’s still a surprise to them but a reality to you?
what do you do when you see your people raped and beat up and murdered and mocked and your own people won’t fight but say “oh i didn’t know you were gonna go full Malcolm on me”?
who do you run to when 80% of your friends aren’t Black and 80% of their friends are their race?
what do you say when Cinco de Mayo and 4th of July are celebrated by everyone of every race and no one knows what Juneteenth is? how do you supposed to feel?
what is a Black man to do when there is no more alcohol to drink? no more weed to smoke to ease the pain?
what happens when you weren’t taught to meditate but instead medicate so when everyone is drinking socially, you’re drinking to escape the harsh realities?
what happens when you’re tired of loving? do you hate?
what do you do when you realize you’re loving the wrong woman?
what do you do when you’re into deep with a part time lover?
what happens when your heart is tired and broken and weak?
what happens after you say “no. not anymore”?
what do you do when you can’t blame anyone but yourself for not following the signs and ending up in a ditch?
what happens when you don’t forgive yourself?
what do you do when your sister/best friend moves to LA to live her life?
who do you run to when the person you would normally run to, is running away from you?
what do you do when you’ve been pulled over 14x and have yet to receive 1 ticket?
what do you say when a cop rolls down his window and say “bet not see you around here anymore” in your own neighborhood?
how does one remain positive when they see the world for what it is?
how does one who is exposed to the truth act like they aren’t? is that why people say ignorance is bliss?
how am i supposed to feel when you get on social media and you see a Black 10 year old boy in cuffs for “fitting the description” and he’s so scared that he pees his pants?
how am i supposed to feel when you can only talk to ONE of your homies about what it’s like to be a Black man because no one else can truly understand?
what more actions can a hopeful Black man do when they’ve seen Malcolm and Martin and Huey and Hampton and Biko and George Jackson and Lumumba get killed by the system you’re fighting against? do you continue fighting?
what do you do when your actions are seen as violent when the only time you do respond is when violence occurs TO YOU?
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH?!
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR EYES ARE DRY FROM NO MORE TEARS COMING OUT?!
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE HOPE YOU HAD HAS A BOY IS DEFLATED AS YOU GROW TO BECOME A MAN?!
WHO DO YOU LEAN ON WHEN YOU’RE SUPERMAN?!
WHO DO YOU ASK FOR HELP WHEN THEY COME TO YOU FOR THE ANSWERS?!
WHAT MORE DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR BODY IS TIRED FROM FIGHTING AND YOUR HEART IS TIRED OF CRYING AND YOUR MIND IS FLUSTERED FROM TRYING?!
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SOCIETY TELLS YOU BLACK MEN DON’T NEED THERAPY?!
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN NO ONE LISTENS TO YOU?!
what happens to Julius?
*listen to Drinking Sessions by Big K.R.I.T. and FEEL. by Kendrick Lamar.