Christmas is tomorrow and the age old question “what should i get so and so…” is roaming.
but what do you get the man who has everything?
i was at work and a lady asked everyone what we were thankful for.
they had specific responses. that’s cool.
when i was asked, my answer was simply “everything. i have everything. good people. good food. good health. plus my mind is free. everything else is money in the bank.”
as much as i would love to address certain things, some things are better left unsaid. me realizing that, ironically, has granted me peace. just charge it to the game.
also, i try to have no expectations. so it’s hard to disappoint me at this point. not everyone has the same heart as you. your best friend. person you’ve been dating (not committed to). and once you fully accept that, you will live a little differently. you feel more in control.
does that answer her question? no? okay give me a second.
a couple of phrases and discussions occurred this year that made me just live life better, more freely and loving.
the first was Denzel Washington. he was giving a speech at a graduation. 2011. the quote is not new but it’s new to me. he said simply “you will never see a uhaul truck behind a hearse. you can’t take it when you leave.” live your life. don’t take life too seriously. what you have is gonna be useless or someone’s else when you die. travel. eat good. dress well. love life.
the second thing is my pops always telling me to have a balance. he always reminds to me to spoil myself but be responsible. i am always looking out for others and that’s not going to stop. but i am actively, for the first time in my life, looking out for myself first.
the third thing was Diddy. he had a post on instagram that said “happiness is a choice. do more things that make you happy.” all of these quotes and talks and speeches were all simple. but collectively very important and heavy for ME.
the last is a Jay Z lyric. he said “my advice is just don’t be too nice to niggas. set your price on niggas and live your life, my nigga.” THAT, my friend, is it. set your price and keep it moving. don’t sweat off small things. don’t fret on things, people, or situations you can’t control. and if you set your price and someone or a thing falls short, keep it moving on them. that’s the result of a missed payment. i don’t need you. live YOUR life. let others live theirs. i’m already nonchalant but now if you ask yourself “i wonder if Julius cares”… i can answer that now: i don’t. i haven’t had a bad day in months. i don’t allow myself to have a bad day. don’t allow yourself. i’ve had a popped tire within the past few months. but i had a spare in the trunk. i’ve had to transfer money from savings to checkings, but i had it for that reason. i’ve had to work extra hours, but why be upset? i’ve pulled an all nighter and that sleep the next day was magical.
stop hustlin backwards, sista. stop hustlin backwards, bruh. i leveled up. and i refuse to go back to what i was before.
this is new to me. don’t get me wrong. a couple things happened THIS year. really over the past 3 4 months that has helped me level up.
my momma is safe. she’s healthy. she’s sane. she has a life. my momma is balanced. she’s gorgeous. she’s fly. she’s tryna learn how to Milly Rock but she’ll get it. we have a solid relationship. a great duo. she knows how to cook, WELL, and taught me. momma is intelligent. thank you. she’s hilarious at times. don’t pump her head up tho.
my father is good. his blood pressure be high some days but he’s good. my dad has had prostate cancer and beat it. a year after, he had a tumor. his brain was bleeding. he’s straight now. i’ll whoop him in dominos but he’s decent. he taught me so sometimes the student gotta get the teacher back. he’s married with a great wife. wsup Sabrina. she has chronic fatigue. first time someone i know who suffers from it. but she’s always good. they’re good. we do nothing but chill, joke about stuff we shouldn’t be joking about like people falling down the stairs and kids getting whooped, eat and laugh.
my sister just got engaged to a man. and i don’t mean male when i said man. i mean this dude Yoel is a man. a dope dude who is God fearing. you ain’t gonna catch me complaining. you gonna catch me supporting them. praying for them. riding for them. a healthy positive balanced intimate relationship is something i have an intense desire for so when i see them, i’m restored.
so… what do you get a man who has everything? a man who is happy with his life. it’s no coincidence my site is called definejulius. how do you define me? i’m asking. how do you see me. how do you define Julius Jr, dad? how do you define your son, mom? how do you define Julius, Frobe? Tasha? Jerrod? how do you define me? a man who doesn’t put himself in a box? a man who is mentally free? a man who makes his decisions and is happy with them? cus i have everything.
so many of us hate when people put us in a box or judge us, but we do it the most. we judge ourselves. we walk around thinking if we don’t make a certain amount of money, we’re not successful. we do that to ourselves. we go home and think if we don’t get that degree, we aren’t smart. we put ourselves in boxes every. single. day. if we don’t have $2k in our savings account, we don’t deserve to take a day off. some of yall just said in yall head “2k?? i don’t even have… ” and already placed yourself and lowered yourself and spoke down on yourself. putting your mind somewhere it don’t belong. if we don’t hit 10/10, we don’t deserve to buy nice things? we hold ourselves back from happiness. we tell ourselves we cannot be happy.
be happy. love yourself. love life. have some fun. have a good time.
yeah i’m in school. yeah i gotta good paying job. but if i never “finished” school, my life is still GREAT. my purpose is being fulfilled every day i talk. every day somebody reads my posts. every time someone asks me for advice. every day i talk to my nephew. a degree doesn’t define me. money doesn’t make me successful. i don’t care. if it takes 10 years or 3. i’m living my best life every day.
it’s not how much you have but what you do with what you have.
i got my momma and pops. 2 mommas. and they all good. they all strong. they all smiling. some hard days here and there, of course. but they’re all blessed. so what do they have in return? a son who has everything.
i am a wise efficient Black man in amerikkka. i am amerikkka’s worst nightmare. and i am reminded of that every day. i know what i am against. but here i am.
and this is not me bragging. please understand. if you confuse this with bragging, check yourself. not me.
but hear me out. my health is fantastic. i look good. really good. i make money. and i save and invest well. my credit is excellent. i wake up with the heater on every morning. to my disliking but some Ls you gotta take to make the woman of the house happy.
my skin is unbelievably smooth, with no skin care routine and no veganism. this is me being content with my looks. my body. my life. my situation. my lady is loyal. ambitious. hilarious. ain’t patient with everyone else or bad drivers but patient with me. knows what irks me like always being on the phone. natural. a freak. listens to me hit high notes knowing i have no business attempting. looks good in every color. she prays for us. she… cmon man. keep going? i woke up with a full tank of gas. i drink Fiji water. every day. i have cable. i am blessed man. you are too.
someone who doesn’t place great value in material things. someone who had a smile with $30 in his account and a smile with $xyz in his account. someone who knows what it’s like to eat struggle meals for weeks and someone who has ate exquisite meals for weeks just for the sake of doing it… and wasn’t on vacation.
what do you get a man who is wearing Skechers shoes and Target socks at the time of writing this? i’m content. i’m satisfied.
count your blessings man. i know God is up there looking out for me.
*let me drill this home really quick. if you have a good woman or a good man, hold that person down. nobody is perfect. nobody is flawless. but understand what you got at home. he/she will make you mad one day. he/she will get on yo last nerves. but value what yall got. she doing what she gotta do to make you happy, you better do what you gotta do to make her happy. ain’t nobody playin. appreciate what you got*
to the people who know me, you can probably think of 88 things that you think will make my life better. but like i said in the third paragraph, everything else is extra. i am grateful. now, i know God has more things lined up for me. i know that. and that only makes me MORE happy. you can be grateful and still seek higher levels.
#1. PUT GOD FIRST. PUT. GOD. FIRST. PERIOD.
#3. DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY. TAKE THE CASE OFF YOUR PHONE. THINGS COME THINGS GO. YOU’RE GONNA DIE ONE DAY. IS WHAT YOU’RE GOING THRU GOING TO MATTER 5, 2 YEARS FROM NOW? HELL, 8 MONTHS FROM NOW?
#4. BE OKAY WITH MISTAKES. THEY ARE NATURAL. THEY MAKE YOU HUMAN. EMBRACE YOUR HUMANLY FLAWS. EMBRACE THEM.
#5. DON’T DISTURB MEN, DON’T DISTURB WOMEN WHO YOU’RE NOT READY FOR. IT CAUSES STRESS ULTIMATELY FOR YOU BUT ALSO THEM. STAY IN YOUR LANE.
#6. APPRECIATE YOUR LIFE. YOUR SITUATION. YOUR SKIN.
#7. LISTEN TO MUSIC EVERY DAY. EVERY SINGLE DAY LISTEN TO MUSIC. EAT GOOD FOOD. TAKE DAYS OFF. CHILL.
#8. REPEAT #1.
my mind is right. my body is right. my health is right. my happiness is right. my emotional state is right. i am at peace. my family is right. it’s approaching Christmas and material items is the last thing on my mind. God got me. God already gave me life. a life of W’s. i’m good.
I’M LIVING MY BEST LIFE. AIN’T GOIN BACK AND FORTH WITH YOU NIGGAS!!!!!
for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11-13..
so if you ask yourself what to get a man who has everything… my response is anything.
*Chance The Rapper The Man Who Has Everything. https://youtu.be/ZLuvyj5Vx34