friends. how many of us have them?

how many of us are real friends?

check up on your friends, y’all. make sure they’re good. please. all it takes is a text, preferably a call, and a request to link up for dinner or lunch. we all have a life. but most of us aren’t as busy as we like to think we are. seriously.

a real friend has the best interest in mind for their friend. actually, a friend does. not a real friend. a real friend isn’t a thing. either you a friend or you ain’t. ain’t no such thing as halfway crooks. if you don’t have the best interest in mind for people close to you, how are you a friend? and if they don’t have your best interest for you, how are they friends? some people think being a friend means supporting someone just because… i don’t know actually. just because. wrong. wrong.

people act like solely supporting people makes them a friend. that’s humorous. when you call yourself a friend, you 1) have the authority to be honest and upfront with them. 2) you have the OBLIGATION and RESPONSIBILITY to be honest and urge them to do what’s best. you don’t have to beg a grown person to make a wise decision. but you do have the liberty to say what’s on your mind and the responsibility to do it. take that power and position seriously. we need people to shake us up at times. we need people to tell us what we’re doing is out of pocket. we need that. tell your friend that having unprotected sex with tons of people isn’t a good idea. tell your friend that that girl isn’t healthy for him. tell your friend she shouldn’t settle for that job just because the money is good for the moment. tell your friend not all money is good money. tell your friend to read a book. tell your friend to own their own. tell your friend how dope Jay-Z music is. tell your friend to forgive their father or ex girlfriend and move on. tell your friend to respect women. tell your friend all the drinking and drugs they’re doing will lead to death. tell your friends stop being mediocre. tell your friend to stop being so hard on themselves. tell your friend to choose their career, not for their parents to choose it for them. tell your friends they don’t need to buy those shoes or tickets. tell your friends about God. tell your friends to drink more water. tell your friends to be more proactive in social issues. it’s your job.

but….

it is NOT your job to babysit. it is not your job to be each other crutches. do not handicap your friend. do not lie to your friend for their emotions to be salvaged. do not be YES MEN. friends need honesty. not passiveness. if you tell your friend that getting hit by a truck hurts, you did your job. it’s not your job to hold their hand and walk them across the street. being of age does not make you an adult. it is not your job to make a grown kid an adult. it IS your job to be an example. do not bail your friend out just because they called you. they will call 10 other people if you say “no”. believe me. identify the type of relationship you do have with certain friends however.

be the friend and surround yourself with friends that are supportive. when you know your friend is all about fashion, urge and support them to continue their drive in fashion. if your friend is big into college and is lacking the confidence, support their college goals. be loving. understanding. experienced. honest. respectful. be a friend that can listen and not say a word until they’re done talking. we’ve all been in situations in which we needed people to just be there for us. don’t be that friend who cuts friends off. don’t be the person who gives their opinion when no one asked but DID ask for someone to listen and not judge. be a friend that will show up to games or events that mean a lot to the other person. be the friend that will sacrifice gas and time once in a while when your homie hits you up to chill. be motivational. be motivating. be careful. be fun. be available. be the friend that will say the honest yet productive thing. be the friend they think of when someone asks who is their best friend.

never compromise. adapt. never adopt. be yourself around your friends. be real around your friends. but be a friend. and i’m saying this as a person who holds myself to these same standards as i hold my friends. i would not expect my friends to do things i wouldn’t do when it comes to being a friend.