who wants a perfect love story, anyway?


when people ask “why do you like her? what qualities about her do you love? how is she different?” it’s all kinda weird and hard to answer. what trumps it all is she liking you, you liking her and both values/experiences aligning.

yeah she likes sports, but have you ever talked to a chick who didn’t like sports at all and yall still vibed perfectly? she still copped you tickets and duked it out at Laker games just because you liked it?

she might not know how to cook but you mean to tell me every woman you’ve talked to has and THAT was the key to a healthy relationship? please.

he might not know how to change the oil in your car, but he’s quick with the AAA card. he might not he crafty with the tools but that’s gonna make you be unhappy?

all of that is a plus in my eyes.

not everyone is gonna understand why you’re still with that person. and not everyone has to. but you know why you’re with that person. and they know why they’re with you. put your ego aside and come to grips that yall are prooooobably gonna be together for life. understand that.

not everything is going to be perfect. not everything is going to be smooth. not every day is a paradise. you’re gonna experience some nightmares with the girl of your dreams at some point. that’s reality.

“the ups and downs are worth it. long way to go but we’re working. we’re flawed but we’re still perfect for each other.”

when i look at athletes or musicians, performing well alone for a long time makes them really good. but adversity makes them great and separates them for the others. Lebron is great because he has failed and came back on top numerous amount of times. he didn’t stop at the setbacks. Jay-Z didn’t always run hip hop. he’s had bad albums. after Blueprint 2, was the Black Album. after Kingdom Come came American Gangster. he prevailed.

Lebron said his greatest failure was his greatest achievement. that was the beginning of something great.

relationships hit bottoms. they get ugly. i’m not saying every relationship has to get ugly first and thus, that the mark of a great relationship is by overcoming it. and just because the relationship is in year 3 does not mean you have to force a 4th year if it’s not meant to be. i’m saying there are times in relationships when it does get rough. you and your significant other are bumping heads on everything. you can’t stand her and she exhausted her patience with you. and you can tell your homies and she can tell her friends in 4 different group chats that it is over.

but if you both know where you want to ultimately end up and that’s with each other, figure it out. make sure it’s healthy. please don’t stay in an unhealthy situation. and it better be respectful. Jay-Z said you dudes treat the one that you loving with the same respect that you treat the one that you humpin. that ain’t about nothing. don’t be that person. if yall chilling, respect the hell out of that person still. you know what it is.

but when yall back on, don’t be embarrassed to bring that person back around. your girls are gonna be like “now girl…” and your homies are gonna be like “alllriiiight bruh you told me it was dead.” but so what. we all go through things that only one other person can understand: the person who’s going through it with you.

if you think your friends’ relationships are flawless, think again. if you think your homie is Special Ed and got it made, think again. if you think because your girlfriend lives in an apartment with her dude for the past 8 months, everything is peachy, think again.

you’ve gotten over tougher things. what you’re going through now with your significant other is lightweight. trust me. what you’re going through is exactly that, going THROUGH it.

Pusha T said “if you know you know” and i believe that.

there are things that are unforgivable.

i understand that. and there are things that you can forgive but it’s just ain’t cool. we are humans, yall. rule #3 for human beings: cut each other some slack. understand that we aren’t perfect. understand we are YOUNG. we are LEARNING. we FALL SHORT. yes, you too. me too. your parents too. they were young. your parents were learning. it may seem like you know everything so you’re so hard on her, but bruh… you ain’t that smooth. you may think you’re the best to offer any woman in the Bay Area, but there are other guys out there. what makes it unique is that she cuts you slack and she likes and cares and WANTS YOU. she doesn’t want the other dude who’s making 5x what you’re making. she wants you.

he doesn’t wanna come home to the woman who can twerk like she in the 1990’s listening to 2 Live Crew. he doesn’t wanna commit to that chick who has 15k followers on IG and straight hair. he wants that natural woman who is about that growth.

she doesn’t want you to be superman. she wants you to be you.

never feel bad for loving. love is the best gift you can give.

so many people give up and end up telling themselves that they are happy but at night, they hate the decisions they made and is a sad and angry person while that person they gave up on is living their best life like Duval. don’t rush anything. don’t jump off the wall yet.

you can have disagreements. don’t let that scare you.

is the relationship you’re in helping you? is the relationship you’re in making you better? is it propelling you to a higher level? answer that truthfully and you’ll know what to do.

or are you just the same? having fun, but ain’t moving forward? so many people people wanna “have fun” and “be free” and years later, they realize they didn’t grow at all. they’re the same person who they were 5 years back because they “wanted to have fun.”

people unfortunately foolishly mistake serious relationships for not being fun. that is a problem. you can have the MOST fun in a committed relationship. you can travel MORE in a committed relationship. you actually have less responsibilities and more help in committed relationships.

if there are things you need to fix, fix them. let your partner know. if there are things you want to get better at, get better with them. let your partner know. they will rock out with you. they will understand. relationship is a word we use all the time but it’s a partnership. yall are gonna work it out together. yall better.

“what good is a menage a trios when you have a soul mate?”

you don’t have to agree with what i wrote. you sure did read all i wrote but you don’t have to agree.don’t be like Kobe in 2001.

listen to Jay-Z song 4:44 and Jay-Z and Beyoncé song LOVEHAPPY and 713.

peace and love.

One thought on “4:44

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