remind yourself: nobody is built like you, you designed yourself.
you must love yourself. you must love yourself. YOU. MUST. LOVE. YOURSELF. each word in that four word sentence is equally important.
we are all built differently. some of us are tall. some are short. some are thin. some are big. but you gotta love it. you gotta love everything about you that you can’t change.
some have nappy hair. some have straight hair. some don’t have any hair.
me, i got nappy hair. that good ol try to come thru and it pop, that looks like a lot but you wash it and it shrinks 3 inches, 4c hair. i’m tall and i don’t have “perfect” posture. i’m thin. i have a wide nose. i can smell what you’re cooking for tomorrow, today. my teeth aren’t totally straight. gotta gap and all. i require contacts or glasses to see more than 10 feet. i’d be a horrible eye witness. that being said, i don’t care. i do not care one bit. you cannot tell me anything i don’t know about myself. you cannot embarrass me. you have never and will never heard a complaint from me about me. ever.
i have never had issues with self esteem. i have never had issues with doubt about my body. some people will get upset at me for saying that alone. i, again, don’t care. love yourself. it is so important.
broken people hate my ego. broken people hate when i talk like this. misery loves company.
you can point out numerous amount of things that you don’t like about me, physically. in fact, you probably gotta like me first theeen my looks will “grow on you.” i’ve heard that before. confidence goes a long way. intimate relationships. business relationships. friendships.
God created me. God created you. and God did a great job, too. God makes no mistakes. none.
we are all attractive to someone. we are all attractive to a group of people. no one is straight up ugly. you can be unattractive to someone. that’s not on you. but you are not ugly. i promise. because you’re not attracted to someone or a group of people doesn’t mean you’re ugly. because you are not attractive to people who you are attracted to, doesn’t mean you’re ugly. that might be a hard hurdle to get over. but you must. there might not be any scientific proof behind this but some people are good looking to almost everyone. then there are people who are good looking to only a group of people. like only their race. like only Black women like you. or only Asian women like you. again, just because who YOU like doesn’t like YOU in return, doesn’t make you ugly. you must conquer the highest unapologetic self esteem ever. you are beautiful.
someone likes your hair. someone likes your hands. someone likes your body frame. someone likes your thick thighs. someone LOOOVES your skin. someone loves your stretch marks. someone loves your nails. someone loves how slim you are. someone loves your voice. someone loves your condition. someone loves your teeth. even if it’s not the same person loving all of those together, someone loves them. someone loves you. keep those people close. even if it’s nothing but a friendship, that’s a friendship that’s worth keeping.
i watched Nappily Ever After on Sunday and the movie itself was okay. but the message was clear. be free. don’t live to other’s standards. don’t live to your mother’s standards. embrace yourself. and some of that is easier when you have a strong person on your side doing it themselves. and they spread the love.
BUT… ultimately you better love yourself.
“like why the worlddo you like that? like they don’t know you’re God-sent, but me? i view you like that”
when did you start to forget how to fly?
i work on loving myself more, every day. i work on respecting myself, every day. i work on not settling, every day. i work on bettering myself, every day. i
try to get better at being a better version of myself, every day. i read every day. i pray every day. i have a meaningful conversation EVERY day. if i can’t have it with someone else, i have that conversation with myself. love your attitude. love your skills.
let’s talk about why it matters. this is the important part of this post.
why? you will be unstoppable. it’s easy to tell you to love yourself. but you gotta know the why. self love is vital in one’s survival. in one’s happiness. no one can bring you down by their hatred. you won’t accept some of the foolishness by others. some people will treat you horribly and won’t even feel bad because YOU yourself treat yourself badly. some people say you are what you attract. naw. you attract what you allow. you allow people to treat you these ways. if 10 people holla’d at you and 7 was dope but you let the other 3 run game. and that 3 played you, you allowed it. 10 people were attracted to you. you understand. not just those 3. don’t say “why are ain’t sh*t dudes attracted to me” when it’s YOU who keep ALLOWING this to happen. i am NOT saying the reason why people disrespect you is lack of self love. i AM saying allowing the disrespect could be a reflection of lack of self love. love yourself. respect yourself. we’re our own biggest critics. well you better critique how others treat you too. your whole life can change by just changing your attitude. your. whole. life. can. change. by. just. changing. your. attitude. just by working on loving yourself. loving yourself doesn’t necessarily look like a cocky person. but it does look like a person who knows their worth. stop stop stop stop stop stop stop allowing people to play you. it’s a choice. the more you love yourself, the less tolerant you are with people who don’t love you.
you know when your girlfriend or boyfriend loves you… and you just do things to that person differently now that the love has been confirmed? you like okay you cool and all but when yall love each other? yall will do anything to make each other happy. you’ll stop talking to people in order to suffice them. you’ll pray for them. you’ll cook meals. you’ll treat them with respect. you’ll go places you never thought you’ll go before. you’ll spend money on them. when you love them, you’ll do things differently. that’s what happens when you love yourself.
you think differently. you speak differently. you eat differently. you appreciate alone time. being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. you walk differently. you’ll walk into rooms with confidence like HAHHHHNNN. you enter relationships with a level of pride. you’ll forgive yourself. you’ll talk to your kids about situations more openly. self love looks good on you.
celebrate yourself. i enjoy wine if not every Tuesday, Wednesday. just to do it. and you know what today is? TUESDAY.
set your standards before people enter your life. not during. so when people try to play you, you cut that off from the gate. don’t change your standards with the culture. don’t change your standards with the person you’re talking to. set your price and live with it.
let’s talk about self hate. it runs deep. it really does. so many things you don’t even understand about yourself yet and it hasn’t been revealed because someone hasn’t kept it real with you or you haven’t kept it real with yourself. i understand people have hatred in them that was formed by their parents. by society. by their ex or even CURRENT boyfriend/girlfriend. love yourself, man. there’s tons of people who have parents who tell them their hair is ugly. their skin is ugly. being told that stuff by people close to you is hurtful of course but also harmful. it does harm to one. also NOT being told you’re beautiful by people close to you is hurtful and also harmful. the harm i’m talking about results in self hate.
so many people get into relationships that reflect their self hate. hatred for their people. hatred for their skin. for their hair. for their community.
before you judge someone, take time to step back and acknowledge YOU might have self hate in your blood. YOU might be dealing with self hate, subconsciously. and while it ain’t pretty, it’s a curable disease that’s remedied by self love.
“You can’t hate the roots of a tree and not hate the tree. You can’t hate Afrika and not hate yourself.” Malcolm X.
Black males, you can’t hate Black women and not hate yourself.
so many people are quick to denounce Michael Jackson. his father told him countless times that his nose is fat and ugly and he “didn’t get that nose from [me]”. society told him (and countless other Black people) that his hair and skin was underneath them. he was told by media that his looks aren’t good. we all battle issues day to day and then crucify him for having self problems. check yourself. Michael Jackson was a brave tortured soul. when asked how he was treated by people making fun of his physical appearance, he said that “instead of retaliating on them, i just… i did it to myself.”
this world is gonna capitalize off of self hate. this world is gonna capitalize off of your weaknesses. this world is crazy. this world is brazy if you a Blood.
love your name, too. your culture. my son or daughter will have an ethnic name. people talk about why would you set your kids up with a name that employers KNOW are Black. hell, if being Black alone doesn’t get you a job, why would they DESIRE to even be in a place as such. i’m not setting my kids up to work for anyone. that’s 1. my kids will be raised to own and manage their own company. their own business. Black people are pressured to conform. i don’t hear yall telling Jose, Maria, Alejandro, Gurprett, Ameet, Singh, Rodriguez, Nguyen, Xi, Ranjit, or Raul that. when you see a Jose, nobody turns their head or gasp for air. when you hear a Black name, everyone turn their head to see who this person is with a name like Lakeshia. or Tyrod. or DeMarcus. or Dejanae. or Draymond. why? because hate is real. and that hate is internalized and turns into self hate. so even Black people stay away from ethnic names and opt for an amerikkkan name. love your name. love your culture. embrace it.
see the problem is living in amerikkka, we are disconnected from our roots. our selves. our people. Black women, go home. you’ll see every woman looks like you. hair. body. we just are so europeanized/amerikkkanized so much that we compare ourselves to unrealistic values. this ain’t us.
Asian people. love yo eyes. embrace them slants. embrace those names. embrace that body and accents. if you go home, everyone looks like you. don’t get caught up in this amerikkkan way.
Indian and Latinx people, i don’t know much about yall but love yourself. don’t worry about fitting in. stand out. go home and you see everyone is like you. you live in amerikkka and society just tells you to get with the program so you abandon the self. no. embrace that culture.
the lovely model in the picture is Winnie Harlow. shout out to her confidence. she has the same skin condition as Michael Jackson. shout out to Michael Jackson. do your research before saying and believing ANYTHING. the media has brainwashed everyone to believe their agenda for centuries. that’s their goal. literally.
also, people who suffer from mental illness, i’m here for you. depression is no joke. you know how people are scared to come out if they’re gay? people are scared to tell folk they’re depressed. they’re riddled with embarrassment and shame. we all have baggage. please get help. if you don’t want to talk to someone you’re close to, hit me. if you feel like drugs and alcohol and slicing your body and wrists are the answers and the *only way to cope with the mental and emotional state you’re in, it’s not. there are other ways. other avenues you can take. sometimes we need people to get us on track. to check us. people often talk about drugs and overdose and say that’s what’s killing people. no. drugs are the effect of something we need to tackle. the cause of the drugs is mental illness. depression is the cause, drugs is the effect. people are really walking around with PTSD and you don’t eeen know it. people are telling you their experiences and you are telling them it ain’t that bad. so then people are fake smiling, Mona Lisa. people are really smiling at you every day and are dying on the inside. people are cracking jokes and making videos and going home with a secret with it. depression. loneliness. self hate. check on yourself. check your friends and family. tell a random person they’re beautiful once a day. we walk by so many strangers a day and keep it pushing and just a kind gesture can boost their confidence so much.
shout out to Michael Jackson. shout out to Winnie. shout out to my parents for instilling self confidence in me and my siblings. shout out to those who are mastering themselves. shout out to those who are working on loving themselves.
shout out to self love. love yourz.
listen to J. Cole Love Yourz.
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