Beyoncé “I will never LET you shoot the nose off my Pharoah.”
love is a choice. stop acting as if love is something you just get on accident. like it’s the flu. something you came across. when you SHOOT YOUR SHOT, THAT WAS SOMETHING YOU DID DELIBERATELY. and if you made it, you pursued it, intentionally. on the flipside, if someone shot their shot your way, you okayed it. whether you blocked it at first or it was open, you let that happen. you chose to text back. you chose to go on dates. you might not have known it would lead to love but life is about choices. love is an investment. a choice. love is something you work on to grow. you water it. give it sunshine. give it chances. forgiveness. time. one on one attention. from the moment you are attracted to the person to the moment you shoot a shot to the moment you go on dates to the moment you like them to the moment you DECIDE to drop other people in the quest to grow more to the moment you tell your friends and homies you dig them. it is a choice.
so kill alldat noise about “you can’t decide who you love.” you choose everything else but love you do not? you chose the school you go to (might not be your first choice but you did apply. you did spend money and applied). you chose what job you work at (might not like it but you did apply. you do wake up and get ready and prepare for it every day). you choose what food you eat and (might not be the best tasting food and hell, you might hate that the system makes healthy food out of the way and drastically expensive) you choose to spend your money the way you spend it.
you choose to commit to a person.
and this is intimate and platonic relationships. i am speaking on relationships that involves sex and relationships that do not but involves affection and deep emotions. this is homies and strangers. older generations and current generations. coworkers and peers.
a Black man on the street should not be automatically perceived as competition. we should off top see that person as a bother. and if something leads to us not having that idea of a particular person anymore, bet. but not as a whole. we should see every Black woman as a sister. as a Queen. and if one or two Black women or men hurt your feelings, well cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it. weak. don’t proclaim being for your people but are only for your gender. understand the difference between hurt feelings/pride and hurt future.
we must see enough value in one another to want to protect each other. to love. to forgive. we must have that value. we must see each other as brothers and sisters. if you do have this horrible idea of “men ain’t sh*t” okay. bet. but you must see Black men as your brother. you might think this generation of women suck but you must see Black women as sisters. we must respeck and accept our race first. that is a feat. that is the goal. my goal to spread.
and IF you are Pro Black, if you are Pan Afrikan, you choose to commit to a Black man or a Black woman. there is no gray area. don’t talk to me about Pro Black or Pan Afrikanism or “woke” when you’re not planning or you don’t plan on having a Black family. too many people pride themselves on being “woke” as if that’s an accomplishment. being Black and “woke” is NOT a badge of honor. you must walk the walk. being Black and woke is merely a thing. an idea. your future doesn’t include a nuclear family but you woke? yeah. streets is done. we’re not even on code thinking like that.
i have only been in one committed relationship. when i met Tasha, i was young but i immediately and consciously knew the potential. she was not Pro Black at the time but you can best believe she is now. she did not love her natural hair and curls but you can best believe she does now. she did not have a healthy strong intimate relationship with a Black man prior, and although we are not together anymore, you can best believe that that is not the case anymore. i knew what my role was as a Black first Man. i knew what i needed to say. i knew what i needed to show her. i knew what i needed to do. i did not need a sample size of women to know and understand the importance of being with a Black woman. Tasha is Black as hell. no not her skin. she is very fair skin. like a vanilla wafer. but never doubt her. i am proud of myself for being an example of a proud Black Man and Black Excellence. and i am more proud of who she has become: a proud Black woman. even if she thinks i’m uncouth.
i am loyal to Black women because of respeck. loyal because of code. loyal because of reciprocity. loyal because of potential. loyal because of passion. loyal because of bloodline. loyal because of protection. loyal because of legacy. loyal because of mutual interest. loyal because of understanding. loyal because of future generations.
be loyal to someone with self control. knowing they are disciplined. be loyal to someone who is committed to their people. be loyal to someone who is patient. spoil yourself to a King. spoil yourself to a Queen.
i am loyal not because i lack options. i am fully aware and understand that Black women represent 6% of the total population and 13% of the female population in the country i currently reside in. i accept that. i still choose Black women.
i was watching David Banner on Drink Champs with NORE. He said something that stood out to me. “My mentor told me that if you can’t invest in the thing that saved your life, you are not worthy of living.” the Black woman and men are my heroes. this past generation, what Black women did in the 1950s and 60s. what Black women did in the 1500s. Black women are Queens. from Moms to Sheba to Nefertiti to Asantewaa. Black men are Kings. from me to my dad. to the Kings who reigned in the 1960s. to the Kings who reigned in Mali like Mansa Musa. it’s in my blood.
this is how i would feel if i had the loot and house and kids and alldat but didn’t have a Black woman by my side
You have to be mature and culturally healthy enough to know and then act on it. You have to be willing to invest.
when i see my 18 year old niece with a boo, i be like “greeaatt.” but she saw Black men love Black women and Black women love Black men. her little friend is dark as Wesley Snipes.
Black Love is Revolutionary.
Black Love is wealth. Black families collectively are the most wealthiest units in the world. It is rich. It is powerful. It is boundless. It never ends. To WANT to and then procreate with a Black person as a Black person is beautiful. i might just name my daughter Ebony just off GP. Black skin on Black skin is magical. Brown skin on brown skin is breathtaking. it is art. i know she comes from the finest crop.
but it is also defiant.
The Black community and more specifically the Black family has been under attack for centuries. We have been mislead and deliberately destroyed for literally centuries. It is understood by everyone except us that we are more powerful together. We Are Wealth. It pays off to be together and grow a nuclear family.
me choosing Black Love has everything to do with me. has nothing to do with you so don’t be offended.
i know what i am doing.
i’m clear why i’m here. how about you?
we talk about change. we talk about growth. we talk about how not much has changed for the Black community in decades. but we ourselves are not planning a future for ourselves. the actual aspect of our life we have first hand power to make the final decision on, we choose to not invest in. THAT’S why it is a revolutionary act. THAT’S why it is an extreme form of building. THAT’S why it is the ultimate chess move. THAT’S the opportunity to play offense. not defense for the first time.
the Golden State Warriors won 3 out of the last 4 NBA championships. their motto is there’s “strength in numbers.” they are considered the best basketball team of the 21st century by a lot of people. they are considered a dynamic force. they are considered a dynasty. think about it. you know what? ima copy and paste something from what their president has said about their motto.
The key to any of these is that they really emanate out of the locker room. Nothing is more consistent with the Warriors since Steve (Kerr) has gotten here than “Strength in Numbers.”
He lives it. He preaches it. I think, in the locker room and beyond, it’s what we do.
“The team’s slogan from last season – Strength in Numbers – depicts the organization’s overall philosophy of inclusion, for the greater good, to help achieve its goals. The Warriors have capitalized on this philosophy to build a championship culture, organization and team in a market that was ripe for success.”
meanwhile, the Black family is considered dysfunctional. not dynamic.
so… again, me choosing Black has everything to do with me. has nothing to do with you.
i’m clear why i’m here. how about you?
people take this for granted. people take my passion and love for granted. people i know do. because i’m close. because i talk to them daily. because i’m accessible. because i’ve known them for a while. people don’t recognize how thorough i am.
i know having a Black son or Black daughter or multiple (Lord help me) is a gift to this world. even if i procreate with the wrong woman, i know i will have a future King current god. i know i will have a future Queen current goddess.
besides alldat, Black women are just amazing. everything i said was justified. that’s not debatable. but cmon. has a Black woman ever loved you? have you ever loved a Black woman? you ever looked at a Black woman? peeped how smooth her skin is? how curly that hair is? that brown skin poppin? melanin outta this world? body of a goddess in every way seriously. her voice. her knowledge. sheesh. we can use the same oils. same combs. same brush. go to her house and her family is playing the same games as mine. same cultural jokes. sheesh.
reminiscent of the great Nikki Giovanni, i hope NO non Black person ever has to audacity to write about Black Love. they will never understand It firsthand. they will never feel It. (Nikki-Rosa)
growing up and being told to never interrupt grown folk while they’re talking taught me how to respect conversation and wait to my turn to speak. growing up and being whooped taught me to know my lane. Black Love taught me to know who the real authority is. the real authority to me is those with the means to provide and protect me and who will risk their life and happiness to make me happy so it will behoove me to honor my momma and daddy. i am the result of a Black King and Black Queen coming together. no pun. and quite the stud i am. two prideful, fun and God fearing parents taught me confidence. it taught me who i was and loving my skin literally and metaphorically. i don’t want the risk of you labeling me getting whopped “unnecessary” because you can never walk in my shoes. you never grew up in a Black home. you might have had a best Black friend. you might have grew up around nothing but Black people. but you did not grow up Black. you did not have Black conversations. you did not have The Talk with your parents. when Barack and Michelle were dancing to Beyoncé singing Etta James At Last was emotional. you can NEVER feel the love during those 4 minutes. growing up and hearing Prince playing then Marvin Gaye then Kirk Franklin on Saturdays offered me balance. perspective. individuality. growing up playing dominos and getting smacked by pops and other fathers and uncles at the table and hearing “all money ain’t good money” taught me the value of a dollar. my pops telling me to stay at home and eat what’s in the fridge while he took my 2 older sisters to fine dining to show them they bet not settle and more importantly, THEY had the CHOICE of what men they *kept in their life. it’s not who you attract. it’s who you allow to stay and set up shop. eating and COOKING struggle meals for days taught me to appreciate what i got. eating left over grits with hot links taught me to not take anything for granted. see i’m killing the myth that poor or not having money equals unhappiness. i’m killing that now. i’m killing the idea that gender roles don’t matter. i’m killing the noise that Black fathers are bad and Black mothers are harsh and loud with attitudes. i’m killing that idea of not traveling means i didn’t explore. the idea because i didn’t eat calamari means i didn’t have expansive vision. the idea of not having tons of game systems and eating dinner at the table each night meant not having fun or a close unit.
and i’m reinforcing the idea of Black Love. i’m reinforcing the idea that Black men and Black women choose and love each other. Black Love is Wealth. Black Love is Rich. Black Love is Opulent. Black Love is Abundant. seeing my momma cry when iiiiii cried after doing something i shouldn’t have done taught me empathy and emotional courage. seeing my dad open doors for my momma, Britt, and Traci then telling me to “get in” taught me i better follow suit next time. see. yall don’t know. i don’t want ANY non Black person ever publishing anything about my childhood. about Black childhood. about Black Love.
don’t go searching for peace and love and happiness when it’s right in front of you. and understand greatness when you’re in the presence of it. appreciate and NEVER take for granted how great someone is.
Black Love is the Most Revolutionary Thing Black People Can Partake In.
share this with ya friends. with your momma. with your pops. with your coworkers. your social media. your love. your homies. your cousin. your roommates. share. this is my favorite and i believe my most important piece i have written. understand ima artist. and i’m sensitive about my sh*t.
listen to The Carters Black Effect.
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